Beauty of a day!

WOW! was it ever gorgeous out there?! It was so nice we all (the boys and I) took a walk, I strapped Reiko to me and Kai was walking(mostly being carried) with daddy. I really wanted to show Derek the whole 5 km we have been doing, but since Kai was quite grumpy and did not want to walk much we did about half or alittle more than half of the walk, so it was still nice to get the whole family out there walking. Reiko enjoyed himself too and its so nice being able to carry him in the baby carrier, I was really scared to try it out on him, I didn't think it would be safe, then I saw another OI mommy do it to her son who has severe OI as well and I got the nerve up to try it and the most damage done was to myself last week when I pulled it off and it knicked my eye! Not bad! So the walk was wonderful, the roads were nice and clear again, the sun was shining and it was just really refreshing.

I could have slept the day away, I wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't sleep worth a crap last night, my whole body was sore, had a headache and kept tossing and turning, and when I finally did get to sleep close to 530-6 then it was time for the respite worker to leave, so I layed on the couch til Derek got home from work and went upstairs to bed, it would have been a great sleep if it wasn't interrupted every 5 minutes ughh, the life of a mom. First it was Kai a bunch of times, then Montreal called to talk about Reiko's monthly pain assessment which is apart of his study, so I half asleep told her he was all good, then as soon as I fell asleep again, Kai and Derek came upstairs to sleep, Reiko was napping, but of course Kai only wanted to fake nap because I was in bed and instead was jumping around, so I got up and let Derek get some sleep...at least one of us did. If we didn't have this walk tonight I would have been dead at supper time.

I wrote about the amazing ice cream on my fb last night and one of my pregnant friends jokingly replied "you can drop some off here" or something like that, and I said to her, "funny thing is if derek saw that he would have it at your house today!" well I told him about what she said and guess what? He made her some of it and I dropped it off at her house tonight lol.

But for me, this needs to stop, I am not losing anything because I eat like shit. Derek is supposed to be the support for me and sometimes he just makes it worse and we both know it. I have very little will power and motivation and I need that kick in the ass from someone, so Derek said he will stop buying junkfood and making it, I just really want to lose the weight, but I am not good at it. I have always emotionally ate for anything and then I eat out of boredom too, I mean being at home every day all day kinda makes you go batty...which is another great reason for me to keep up with the walks, zumba and Turbo..they are my only me time. I mean Derek and I haven't even had any alone time since his birthday, we dont get to even just be together at all, its all about the boys, which of course its supposed to be, but wasn't there a time when it was supposed to be about us as well? How do you make a marriage survive if you can't focus on it for more than 2 secs at a time, because your kids need something/everything from you. But I am not saying our marriage is in trouble at all, in fact we are doing wonderfully..I just miss Derek...I miss us.

Tomorrow is Zumba and I am so excited about it, that class is soo fun! I know I know, I say it like every week, but really it is, and you should definitely give it a try! Well the Ronald McDonald House pictures were cancelled for this week, its now next week, which is actually quite good, but now we have appts in London like once a week for a month, then I will be starting school hopefully soon, so then I will be travelling to London for those classes as well once a week. It is very tempting to move to London, other than the whole leaving family and the money thing.

I checked the fanshawe website today to see if I could register yet, but no dice...hopefully next week! I am so excited for it and Derek is really excited for me to do it too! I cannot wait to start this!! Woohoo!!

Ok its time for bed. Take care everyone.
Jess

Derek and I so young, I was like 16. At Canada's Wonderland

Derek and I 3 months into our relationship. 2002