Today was gorgeous outside, makes me wish Spring was just around the corner, but I do not think we are that lucky yet. I made a big decision today, I am going to do online college courses to work with Medical Transcriptions. I need to do something, I am not meant to be a stay at home mother. I don't clean constantly, I can't think of games to play with the boys constantly and I spend way way way to much time on the computer. Plus now that my maternity leave is done, we are down 500$ a month, and we cannot afford for me to wait another 3 years to get another minimum wage job. I have always wanted to work in the medical field, but have never felt smart enough, so I think that being a transciptionist would be great for me. I am nervous though, school is not to easy for me, English was great, Math ughhh, the dreaded Math..no word of a lie, I was so bad at Math my average was once 17%! It wasn't that I didn't do the work, its that I do not get math at all. It is so frustrating to me. A little over a year ago, before I got pregnant with Reiko, I was looking into becoming a nurse, but I had to upgrade my highschool math, well the day I got my mathbooks home, I read the page and just stared at it for an hour, trying to wrack my brain around it, and I cried so hard. So I gave up, and now look at me, I am practically my sons own nurse now! But I am very excited to get this started and I will be calling a few college's tomorrow to get myself set up.
I think Reiko is going through a break cycle again, so far left tibia, right femur, possibly broken ribs and anytime he moves he seems to be in alot of pain,....I think he is growing and that is causing all the breaks, its at least all I can think of. I am not as stressed out this time, I just splint and medicate and within an hour he is his usual smiley self. I just wish I could take away this damn pain that riddles his body.
Kai was wonderful today! He had school in the morning, and he was a very good boy all day. I love that boy soo damn much! He even brushed his teeth to like 5 songs tonight, so he brushed them very good!
So my eating has been hell, why is it so hard? why do I do this to myself? I am a 24 year old wife and mother who cannot control her eating? And the fact is, it's all selfishness..I do not need the bad food, my body does not even need it to survive, it is not meant to digest the crap, and yet I do it out of pure selfishness, but in the end I am being horrible to my body, I am not taking care of it and someday it is going to let me know loud and clear that what I have done to do it is horrible.
But now that the warmer weather seems to be coming we want to go for walks everynight, get Kai out of the house so he isn't so stir crazy, and get ourselves moving. this winter has just been to much idlying and its awful.
I feel good though, life isn't so bad, I am getting the hang of this disease now and my boys keep me forever happy and insane lol.
Oh and I set up Reiko's birthday party, it will be march 19th and it will be a pot luck,. I have invited some OI guests and of course our big family. I really want to celebrate our little miracle, a year ago we didn't know whether he would live and now he is flourishing into this wonderful little boy who is stronger than anyone I know. So this birthday party is going to be beautiful, for my beautiful snowflake.
Take care,
Jess
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