Looking worse

Another sleepless night with Reiko and Kai, but I put Kai to bed with daddy and I haven't heard him since. Reiko has not slept more than an hour at a time and is very cranky. He has vomitted 3 times tonight, I just have him a gravol suppository and I really hope that helps the nausea. He has a low grade fever still and his breathing is raspy, which means upper airway at least. I keep giving him saline drops, and sucking out his nose, giving him a puffer treatment and trying to keep him happy..with little success. Of course now that I am on here he is having a nice little nap, but I know the minute I lay down, he will be back up crying, looking at me to make him feel better. So now that I have cleaned up vomit 3 times in one night, and I know his body, I am starting to assume that the pneumonia is coming back and we will eventually be in the hospital again. This Sucks!! I do not understand how every 2 weeks his pneumonia comes back and gets him so bad...on Monday his pediatrician said his lungs sounded excellent, not a sound in there, but I know today that there will be the rattles,the wheezing etc...Here is where I start to wonder about God. I am not religious, but at the same time I am afraid to say I don't believe in God, in case there is one, so I am assuming I do believe. But I question what the f*** he was thinking giving a baby or anyone this kind of disease. But I just keep praying that he takes care of my Reiko and my family and hope that if there is a God, he will eventually hear my prayers. The worst thing about this disease,,,it has completely taken over our lives...it is all we talk about, think about, worry about, it is all we are now a days. I want to look at Reiko as more than the baby with brittle bones, but right now it doesn't seem possible, when our lives are all encompassed by this horrible thing. I guess if I don't have an update tonight or something you will know Reiko has been sent to sick kids in London. Oh and just in case there is a God, please send him some prayers to send some help our way.